Bobcat: Right-o, this is Bobcat on August first sitting here next to Lord Odorous Urungus at SubZero ready to slaughter the bartender because service is sooo slow. How do you feel about this, Odorous? Odorous: About what? What I'm doing in my life? Why I'm here? B: Yeah, how about Seattle? O: I love Seattle, I was out golfing today earlier, noticed a bunch of blood-soaked freaks outside the club and they're going to shove 3-400 more people then they are legally supposed to in that fuckin place tonight. I felt when they hit that capacity, they should sell tickets only to little people, ya know, small people. But, you know, as usual its going to be a fucking unrelenting harvest of entrails and death... tonight. B: Ok, you are saying that little people and big people are difference in the aspect of the souls you are looking for? O: uh... no, I'm talking about more then that, it's like a money thing. You see when you sell more tickets to the small people, you can fit more people in the club. I don't want to discriminate against our fans over 5'8", but I'll have to charge more. B: Right, that explains why you like to play at all-ages shows.... O: Yes, we're trying to attract more babies.

	B: I guess teenage children and below are more clean? O: Souls are much, much more sweeter. B: Ok, why don't you tell our readers what GWAR has in store for Seattle tonight? O: Ah, yes, well basically It's just a giant bloodfest. I get up there, I'm obviously intoxicated. I've got a sword. I'm clad in armor. There's a bunch of guys behind me playing really LOUD music, uh, and people get up one after another and try to kick my ass - and basically I beat the shit out of them. Somewhere along the line, Slymenstra Hymen get addicted to crack and Techo Destructo tries to claim her as his bride. He summons the evil penguins and we have a vicious penguin war in which I am forced to, once again, kick ass! B: Kick Ass! O: I beat the shit out of them, stomp them - then I have my way with Jon Benet Ramsey, and then it time for the encore. B: For the audience participation part, you just kill them one at time?

O: Yeah, the audience, they come and they participate by giving me their money, then we kill them promptly. We grind them to pulp in the meat grinder... actually, only the women, yeah, only the women get the meat grinder while their dorky boyfriends watches them in the pit. Bartender: These ones are alot stronger. Be careful. O: Jesus Fuckin CHRIST!!!! Eric Fiscus: Ask Odorous about the Death Threats.... (Something I've never heard of, well...) B: Oh yeah, how about those death threats? O: (pleased with his beverage) Sure, i've done everybody. (puzzled look) Why?, have I missed someone? (Everyone look at Clapper) B: Yeah, Jason Clapper (Odorous looks at the little muppet called Clapper...) O: Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill. (turns to me) I don't want to discriminate against people by not wanting to kill them. B: Do you have a rough account on how many you've slaughtered so far? O: Incalculateable. It's impossible to even understand. Actually, there are those who say I've never killed anyone and I'm just a big rubber Demi-god with delusions of grandeur - but I killed those people. Ground them into GWAR dogfood. B: Where could we purchase such brand of dogfood? O: Actually we're having trouble getting it into K-mart. People don't want to stock it, cause it's rancid and causes disease. Um, that was one of the biggest selling points of it.

	B: So, now you're going to kill everyone and take off into space finally, right? O: Yeah, we say that every year, and it NEVER WORKS. Ya know, we are limited by the fact we've only got hand weapons. B: Hand Weapons? You guys killed the dinosaurs with just hand weapons... O: If we had machine guns, A-bomb's, or poison gas, it'd be different. B: Have you thought of using skateboards to do the job? O: I've beat the shit out of people with skateboards, but still my favorite weapon is my 2 handed broad sword. I do have a one handed, you know swatting sword... that is so I can fight and sing at the same time, but yeah, I've got also a battle axe, a spiked glove, and a big hammer. B: What's with the testicles dangling at the hilt of the sword?

O: Well, it goes like this: the dick is to the gun as is the sword to my cuttlefish (The cuttlefish of Cthulu, his codpiece) B: So the Cuttlefish is still doing fine... O: Oh yeah, its fine but my sword, "LICK", is in a constant erection. (get it, Lick the sword..) B: Anything else you'd like to say to our Sleestak readers? O: I'd like to invite any surviving Sleestaks to come down to the show, and not necessarily be killed, but do a number with us. B: Final question... we have a menace to society called the Gaids monster. How can we defeat such a creature? O: Well.. he's the richest M.F. on the planet... unfortunately..... B: He is???!! Not the Bill Gates monster... the Gaids... O: Oh, a different one? Lure him into a bar.... does he drink? Eric: yeah. O: and he never has money right? B: Clapper? Clapper: like usually for one drink (look who's talking.. -ed) O: OK, say it's like your birthday and pretend your pathetic and don't have and friends. B: I guess I don't have to pretend about the latter. O: Then drink, drink, drink, get him all sloshed. Then get one of those Rohypnals (those Mexican Qualude rape drug things), and take him down to the train track and lay him out like they did to El Duce (moment of silence, please.) Boom, he's dead. Or you can just shoot him... B: That's too easy O: Well, have him and your friends over and have a blanket party.. B: A what? O: A blanket party - throw a blanket on him and beat the shit out of 'em. He couldn't see a thing! Odorous continues to go on about his sword. Guess it'd be nice to have a broadsword that shoots blood too.

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